This pa...

This past week I've been cleaning my room and throwing things out. Today as I arranged all my shoes I realized I have over 25 pairs of shoes. I thought I had about 5 or something, but that's because those are the only pairs I ever wear! Needless to say, half of them I'm going to have to sell. I can't wait until Jeff returns, I really need his camera. Yay for meaningless posts!By the way- I made my last post private because I thought it was too personal. So whoever got a chance to read it you can comment on it if you like. I will put it back up again soon, most likely towards the end of August or whenever things clear up... He's hot! *lickies* :9Oh, and here are some pictures he edited-

UPDATE: FUCK YOU FRIENDS ONLY POSTS!!!

Okay...me and Jeff have been having some problems this past year. He has changed A LOT this year. He has matured and I see now that he cares about me a hell of a lot more than he used to. Before we moved in together everything was okay and we loved each other and missed each other always, but I always knew I was in love with him more than he was with me. I mean, he loved me but I'm not too sure if he was in love with me or not. Last summer things happened and I became very insecure. Now one year later, I'm so happy everything that happened this year happened because it made me grow up a little more and open my eyes. I'm not a shy piece of crap anymore. I realize I have a voice. I don't care about what others think of me. I hate sweaters now, well sometimes I still wear my black cardigan. Anyway, my point is I've opened up a lot this past year and I have Jeff to thank for that. He made me open my eyes and become more aware of everything around me. However, I confess that I still have some insecurities concerning our relationship. I trust him, but stupid bad memories keep getting in the way of our happiness. Sometimes we'll be happy for days and then I mess it up because I say something hurtful to him. He's endured this for the past year and recently I see that it's not fair that I keep torturing him like this anymore. But I can't stop it. I don't know why. I guess I still get scared sometimes that I might lose him and my heart will get broken all over again- and that's the worst pain ever. So I ask him questions until he gets violent, but I don't do it because I want to start a fight with him, I do it because I want to make sure that things are okay with him and us.So this week I kept mentioning breaking up with him almost everyday until on Friday afternoon I said it with such sincerity (as he put it) that we really did...for a few hours. So then we decided we just needed some time apart but we wouldn't break up. Every time I would talk about breaking up in the past he would always ask if we would still be friends and I would say no. Because I don't want to hear who he's going out with or whatever. But on Friday after I broke up with him I realized I did want to stay friends with him, but that wouldn't work because we'd probably just get back together again anyway, I feel it, and he knows it which is why he always asked to stay friends. So we're still together, we're still in love, but I agree that living apart from each other for a while will do ME good. I want to feel that trust I haven't felt in a year, because I have no idea where it went and hopefully with him gone it will come back. God, I hope so, more than anything!So this is our plan for the next 5 months:Jeff- Savannah College of Art and Design, Majoring in Sound Design, FreshmanVeronica- Because I'm a cheap bastard when it comes to giving $-hungry schools my $, I will attend FIU or FAU as a non-degree seeking student and take at least 12 hours of art classes that I need as pre-requisites at SCAD, saving my dad thousands of dollars. In December I will move to Savannah where I'll be --->Veronica- Savannah College of Art and Design, Majoring in Film, Junior. I've already registered at FIU, but to avoid bumping into old acquaintances I wouldn't mind driving 40 minutes to Boca Raton. Right now Jeff is in Savannah looking for a studio apartment and then he's off to Hardy, AR to see his mom. We will meet up again the end of August because he will be helping me film a few shorts to beef up my portfolio.I hope everything works out between us. The other day he told me he has never loved anyone as much as he loves me while crying. And I admitted to him that I have never done so much for one person as I have for him. He keeps me alive and I want him in my life forever.

Where ...

Where can I find Japanese magazines here in Miami? Specifically Japanese fashion magazines? I haven't even looked around. I'm guessing the independent bookshops on South Beach might have. I used to go to Worldwide News on NE 163rd to buy weird foreign mags, they might sell. Anyone know? And I know I've been neglecting two certain individuals who are very dear to me. But I can't go anywhere until I finish this thingie I have to do. Which will be soon, I promise. And when I do finish we will all go to Off 5th to shop. Then we can all drive around and go into every Asian shop in the area from Homestead to West Palm, where hopefully we will find at least one CUTIE, JUNIE, JILLE, or NON-no magazine, DAMMIT!Speaking of cutie, I miss this one. My sisters' boys nephews are adorable. Is that right, sisters' boys?

Today I got bored ...

Today I got bored and called a Shemale I saw in the ads, but I only got his/her answering machine.

I went to the Squ...

I went to the Squarepusher show in Atlanta on Saturday. It was amazing, the best concert ever. It was also a really nice break from dick school and dick life. So much has happened this past month. I really don't know where to begin, but I'll write a tell-all sometime later tonight or this week. I feel really lazy right now.For now, I want everyone to enjoy 15 seconds of Tom playing the bass. I didn't speed the movie up, he's actually this fucking fast on bass. BTW- you need to d/l Quicktime movie if you don't have it...I think. I don't know. Or you might be able to see it with a Windows Media player too. Just click the "Squarepusher" link below, if nothing happens d/l Quicktime.Download Quicktime, it'll be quickSQUAREPUSHERAnyway, like I said, the concert was hot. We left to Atlanta Saturday afternoon around 12:30pm and got there at about 5:30pm. We went straight to Lenox Square Mall because I had nothing to wear to the show expect a "white trash, whore" top as Jeff first called it until he saw me in it later that night! Anyway, I bought a bunch of camisoles for the summer and a skirt to wear with my whore halter top. Then we ate at Panera and left for the show. The show started at 10pm, which was about the time we finally left the mall. While driving to the club, I was changing in the back seat with a blanket over me. After I was done changing we stopped at a red light and there was a guy next to us on our right, late 20's, early 30's, with short brown hair and he was driving a cuties small convertible...well, Jeff was looking at some poster at a bus stop to his right when this guy just STARES the hell out of my Jeffrey. It was so fucking funny!! I kept telling Jeff that guy was checking him out and Jeff replied in an ambivalent/ sort of mad tone (because he knew I would tease him about this forever), "Yes, I know." I, of course, teased him about this the whole night. But it's pretty cool knowing that guys think my Jeff is hot. We got to the show at 10:30pm and some guy was deejaying, I didn't like it very much. And since no one was really paying attention we advanced to the center of the dancefloor. A little later these two Brits, known as Cassetteboy came on the stage and did their little act. They don't really play music, they just edit speeches and songs and make them funny/explicit. Check it outCassetteboyThen some DJ Johnny or someone came out (there was a rumor going around that this was Aphex Twin, yeah right), but his set got long and boring, but by this time we were standing one person behind the front center of the stage. And there was a little space perfect for the two of us ahead of this guy who was standing far back because some guy was smoking in front of him so we just pushed him out of the way. Then Squarepusher came out wearing a nice light brown button up shirt that matched the color of his hair. He greeted everyone, thanked them, and started playing. The first half of his set was him playing his bass. He was so fucking good, his shirt was completely soaked with sweat by the end of the first song! Anwyay, afterwards he played a bunch of tracks from his latest album then one from his EP that came out a few months ago and one song from Do you know Squarepusher? Then he left and came back and played, of course, "Come on my selector" and the song after that (which I always forget the name of) on that same album. It was a great show, me and Jeff danced a lot and I wasn't even drunk!Tom, the most psychotic picture of him I tookThe show ended at 3am, but we stayed inside the club until they kicked us out because we wanted to get Tom's autograph. So we waited outside sort of far from his tour bus just because I didn't feel like talking to the other kids there waiting for him and he came out from the back of the club, just where we were standing! So since no one was around I politely asked him if he could sign our cd. He said "Yes, I'll sign it..." and then maybe something else I don't know but he kept on walking to his tour bus, unnoticed. We were so anxious we waited out right in front of the door of his tour bus. We waited a few minutes and then he opened the door and saw us right there and a few other people behind us and exclaimed, "For fuck's sake, I'm not a rock star!" I felt so embarrassed and scared! After he signed Jeff's cd, Jeff thanked him and we left immediately. That's when I realized, no shit, that's why he had changed clothes and put on a beanie so that no on would notice him walking towards us. Oh well. At least we met his psychotic Welsh ass.Us waiting for Tom outside. Some hobo walking by shouted, "Aw, now isn't that a Kodak moment." So, Jeff literally made it one.Jeff drove for an hour until he couldn't anymore and we stayed at some hotel until the next morning. But before we got to Tallahassee we stopped at Thomasville, Ga and wasted time parked next to the "Big Oak." After I humped it, we deemed it lame and went home shortly after. My blurry humpface. You don't want to see the rest, believe me.It was a good weekend.